Sorrow and Strength
by xneseyx
Summary: I see the sadness behind your eyes. It tells a story that makes me want to weep. Pain and loss, but it drives you, makes you strong. That strength is what kept you alive when everyone around you was dying. You alone survived. You will continue to survive.
1. Mindoir

Elizabeth Jane Shepard was happy. It was April 11, 2170, her sixteenth birthday. She lived on Mindoir, a small human colony in the Attican Traverse. Close to the Terminus Systems, it wasn't the safest place, not with all the pirates and mercenary bands nearby. They hadn't seen many, seeing as Mindoir was a small farming colony, but there was a guard posted at all times. Her father had traded shifts with one of the other guards to be at her party. Having recently displayed biotic abilities, she'd received the latest L3 bio-amp implant. Everyone knew that the L2 biotics could cause instability, and it had cost her parents a lot of money to get the newest implant. Luckily for them, there had been an Alliance scientific team pass through, looking for children with biotics at the time, or else she would have died a painful death. Elizabeth was practicing her biotics every day, out in a field, away from where people might get hurt. People were still scared of her, and other parents had told their children to stay away from her, so the only people at her birthday party were close relatives. She smiled at her cousin, sitting across the table from her. Jared smiled back at her.

"So, do you feel any older yet?" He teased her. Jared was her favorite cousin. He was a year older than her, and had been with her when she started going into biotic shock. He'd saved her life by getting her to the Alliance team.

"No, not yet." Elizabeth said, laughing. "I don't think it happens overnight." Jared opened his mouth to say something, then looked over her shoulder and smiled instead. Elizabeth turned around and saw her mother, a wide smile on her face, carrying a cake.

"Happy birthday to you," Joanna started singing, and the others joined in.

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Elizabeth, happy birthday to you." The cake was placed on the table in front of her.

"Make a wish, Elizabeth." Her mother said. Elizabeth turned to the cake and smiled at the people surrounding her.

"I wish for a good harvest!" Elizabeth announced, and blew out the candles.

After the party, Elizabeth was helping her mother and father clean up after the party. Joanna Shepard had been born and raised on Mindoir, just like Elizabeth. She had long red hair and bright green eyes. Gregory Shepard had served in the Alliance for a time, until he was injured and relieved from duty. He'd ended up losing a limb due to an infection, and had been transported to the Citadel. Gregory had been given a prosthetic limb which worked almost as good as the original one had. He was tall and blonde, with deep blue eyes. Elizabeth had her mother's red hair, and her father's blue eyes.

"Did you enjoy the party?" Joanna asked.

"Yes, mom. It's nice to know that my family doesn't think I'm a freak, too." Elizabeth said.

"Ah, they're all just jealous." Gregory said, and threw an arm over his daughter's shoulder. "You'll have a chance to prove them all wrong, and show everyone what you're made of."

"Thanks, dad." Elizabeth gave her father a hug. "I don't know what I'd do without you guys."

"That won't happen for a long time, sweetheart." Joanna promised. Elizabeth unsuccessfully tried to stifle a yawn, and her mother smiled. "I think that means it's bed time. You still have to get up in the morning to help with chores." Elizabeth hugged her mother.

"Goodnight, mom. Goodnight, dad. I love you guys."

"Love you, daughter." Gregory replied, smiling.

"Love you too. See you in the morning." Joanna said.

It was harvest season. Mindoir couldn't grow all of the same crops as were grown on earth, but most of them were similar. Because of advances in technology, farming was no longer the arduous task it once had been, but that didn't mean that a farm could run itself. Animals still needed to be fed, and the tractors nearly always needed repairs done. Colonial living wasn't easy. Colonies were usually quite well funded, and the money was spread throughout all of the families according to needs. Any monies leftover were given to the medical center. Elizabeth was testing out the omnitool that she'd been given for her birthday, using it to scan the tractor. She'd always had a knack for technology, and the omnitool had been a dream come true for her. It was a Polaris by Kassa Fabrications, and Elizabeth knew that her parents had spent a lot of credits on it. She was determined to prove to them that it had been a good decision, and with that, she set to repairing the tractor. After getting the tractor running again, she stepped back and watched it chug out into the field. She was going to try and see if she could run it without sitting inside, only using her omnitool. She set a route for the tractor to stay on and sent it on its way. As the tractor made its rounds, Elizabeth let her mind wander. Being a biotic, there were very few careers she could go into that would implement them. Serving in the Alliance was the first thing that popped into mind, and they had very good signing bonuses and incentives. But she didn't want to leave her parents alone. They weren't exactly young anymore, and Elizabeth felt that it was her responsibility to stay at home and make sure that her parents were provided for. On the other hand, her parents also knew that there wasn't much for Elizabeth on Mindoir. If they thought for a moment that she was putting her own life on hold because of them, they'd pack her onto the next thing going off-planet. Elizabeth looked at the tractor and smiled. It seemed as though it was working well without her actually sitting in it. After everything was swathed it might be different. She'd have to see if she couldn't get the machine to bale everything on its own, as well as seeding and spraying. If this worked, that meant that there would be more time to do other chores while the tractor was functioning on its own. Elizabeth walked up to the barn where her father was working on repairing some of the tractor attachments.

"I can hear the tractor running." Gregory said, looking up at her. He was lying on the ground underneath the baler attachment.

"I set it up on a route using my omnitool." Elizabeth explained. "I'm hoping to eventually have the tractor do all the farming on its own so that we have time for other things."

"That's not a half-bad idea. Once it's done this round, I'd like for you to make sure to check on it, make sure it's not going to cause more damage this way."

"I can do that." Elizabeth said, nodding. She brought up the tractor on her omnitool, checking on its progress. "It's almost done this circle, so I'll go and wait for it."

"Hang on, I'll come with you." Gregory shuffled out from underneath the machine and stood. "I'd like to see how this works. Might have to do it myself one day." Elizabeth merely nodded and led her father back outside. As they waited for the tractor, Gregory began speaking again. "Have you given any thought as to what you might like to do once your schooling's done?"

"Not really. I could be a mechanic or something." Elizabeth said. She stood up on her toes, looking for the tractor. She'd thought it had been much closer than this.

"You and I both know that you can do much better than being a mechanic." Gregory said. "I know that you don't want to leave us here, but you don't have to worry about that. We've got a big family out here. We'll be fine."

"It's more than that. You make it sound so simple." Elizabeth retorted. "It wouldn't feel right, leaving you here, even with all the family around. I'd feel like I was dumping you on the relatives so I could run away from all of this."

"It wouldn't be anything like that. Think of it as carrying on the family tradition."

"Do you want me to leave?" Elizabeth asked.

"No, you know better than that. Your mother and I only want what is best for you."

"I want to be able to make my decisions for myself." The tractor finally came over the hill, and Elizabeth waved her omnitool in its direction, bringing it to a halt. "And I've got two more years before I have to make that decision. I don't have to make it right now." Her father nodded.

"All right. I just want you to take it into consideration." Gregory gestured towards the tractor. "Why don't you show me how to scan it for damages first, then you can show me how to run the program." Elizabeth nodded and brought it up on her omnitool. As it turned out, running the tractor remotely wasn't any harder on it than manually running it. If anything, it was better. Elizabeth and Gregory had just gotten the tractor moving again when an alarm began to sound. Gregory's head snapped up, his eyes darting across the fields.

"Isn't that the colony's intruder alarm?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes, it is." Gregory nodded towards the tractor. "We don't know if this is a drill or not, or how long it's going to take, so maybe we should shut off the tractor before we head up." Elizabeth merely nodded before waving her arm, shutting down the tractor. When it came to the colony alarms, you didn't argue with Gregory Shepard, you simply did as you were told. Elizabeth and Gregory climbed the hill towards the house, where Joanna could be seen waving at them. At the sound of aircraft overhead, Elizabeth looked up. She saw a shuttle, but didn't recognize it. It had odd markings on it. The shuttle landed, and a group of armed soldiers came out. One of them removed their helmet to reveal a brown-skinned, four-eyed face. Gregory grabbed Elizabeth by the elbow and hid her in a bush nearby. "Stay down and stay quiet until I come back. Don't make any noise. If something happens, wait for everything to die down before coming out."

"Dad, what's going on?"

"Hopefully, just a supply raid. But you never know with batarians." Before she could say anything else, Gregory walked away. He shouted to catch the aliens' attention, then put his arms in the air. He continued to walk slowly up the hill. They were too far away for Elizabeth to hear what was said, but she didn't think it was anything good. She was confused when her father turned his back to them and put his hands on the wall of the house. One of the batarians ran his hands over Gregory, apparently looking for weapons. He must have noticed the lump where the prosthetic leg met the real one, because he tore the leg off Gregory's pants. After a small discussion, another batarian raised his rifle and shot Gregory in the back. Elizabeth quickly clapped her hands over her mouth to keep from crying out, and watched as Joanna tried to run over and was shot for her troubles. Elizabeth could feel her heart pounding in her chest, and closed her eyes in an attempt to stop tears from pouring down her face. She opened her eyes and watched the batarians climb back into the shuttle before it launched back into the air. She waited until the shuttle was out of sight before running up the hill. There was nothing she could do for her father. He'd been shot clean through the heart, but her mother was still drawing ragged breaths.

"Mom? Mom!" Elizabeth fell to the ground beside her mother. There was blood all over Joanna's chest, and some trickling down her chin.

"You can't stay out here. They might come back. You have to hide."

"I'm not leaving you out here!" Elizabeth snapped. "There has to be something that I can do." Joanna shook her head.

"There isn't. And even if there was, they would notice if there was one less body lying out here than there was earlier." Joanna took a ragged breath and shook her head. "You have to leave me." The tears that Elizabeth had been holding back began to fall in earnest.

"I can't leave you here." She cried.

"You can't move me. It would leave a trail. It would lead them right to you."

"Then I'll fix you here." Elizabeth said, and pushed up her sleeves. She pulled out a knife and slit the front of her mother's shirt, determined to do something.

"There's nothing…" Joanna coughed up some blood before speaking again. "Too much blood…"

"Shh. I can fix this." Elizabeth pushed aside the scarlet-tinged scraps of cloth to reveal the wound, a gaping hole below the sternum. "Apply pressure to the wound." Elizabeth murmured to herself, and placed her hands over the hole. Joanna groaned and coughed up more blood.

"Elizabeth. You have to go." Joanna murmured. "They're going to find you."

"I can't let you go, mom. I need you." Elizabeth said, pressing harder on the wound. "This is going to work. It has to."

"I love you, Elizabeth. My darling girl. Always been… so proud…" Joanna's head lolled to the side, her scarlet lips spread in a smile.

"No, you're not dead." Elizabeth pressed harder, causing blood to well out and run over her hands and down Joanna's side. "You can't be dead, mom. I won't let you die. I need you." She laid her head on her mother's chest, listening for a heartbeat. There was nothing. Elizabeth felt like she was going to be sick. She stood and stumbled away from her mother's side before emptying her stomach. Not feeling much better, she wiped a hand across her mouth and tasted copper. She'd forgotten about the blood on her hands. Looking down at herself, she saw that she was covered in blood. She looked around the farm, and heard screams. In her concern for her mother, she'd entirely forgotten about the batarians. She looked over her shoulder at her parents one last time before running in the direction of the nearest neighbour, which happened to be Jared and his family. The scene she arrived at didn't differ much from the one she'd just left. Her aunt and uncle were dead, both being rather old. Elizabeth found herself wondering for the first time what the batarians wanted. Whatever it was, apparently they wanted it pretty badly. Shaking her head, Elizabeth continued to the next farm. Over and over, it was the same thing. Anyone old or weak was killed, and when she saw younger people, she assumed that they must have fought back. Elizabeth decided to just head for the town and see if there was anything that she could do there. As she reached the outer buildings, she could hear gunshots ahead of her. As she passed the mayor's house, she remembered that the communication hub was located inside. Elizabeth snuck inside and activated the comms, looking for the emergency channel.

"Can anyone hear me? My name is Elizabeth Shepard. I live on Mindoir. There are batarians here, they're attacking the colony. Please, if you can hear me, please respond." There was static for a moment before a male voice came over the speakers.

"This is Lieutenant Zabaleta, with the SSV Einstein. We hear you." Elizabeth let out a shaky breath she hadn't known she was holding. "Do you have any other intel on the situation?"

"I'm sorry, I don't. But please, come help us, or send someone. Everyone I've seen is dead."

"We're on our way. ETA, fifteen minutes."

"Thank you. I'm going to connect comms to my omnitool so I can try to update you on the situation as I go."

"Be careful, Miss Shepard." Elizabeth quickly left the building afterwards, and slowly continued towards the town square. As she approached it, she saw movement and ducked inside a nearby building. Elizabeth snuck towards a window and looked out into the square. Nearly the entirety of the colony was out there. The ones between the ages of five and forty, anyway. They were in a large pen that the batarians had obviously set up to keep them from escaping. A few at a time would be brought out. Any that put up too much of a fight were put down, and the others were forced to their knees so that one batarian could shave their hair, and another would cut a hole in the back of the person's head and put something inside. The hole was sewn shut, and the person would then calmly walk into a shuttle. Elizabeth told Zabaleta up on the Einstein what she was seeing.

"What I don't understand is why they're going along with it." Elizabeth said.

"I don't fully understand either, but this sounds like a slave run. We're almost there, don't worry." Elizabeth cut the comms and looked back out the window. She saw Jared being dragged out of the pen and watched, rooted to the spot. As she watched him being forced to his knees, her paralysis left her, and she threw open the window before lashing out with her biotics. They hit Jared, and he fell over, dead. She'd also taken out a couple of batarians, throwing them across the square and slamming them into the shuttles. She ducked back down as the other batarians raised their weapons and started firing at her. Hot tears trickled down her cheeks as she realized what she'd done. She'd killed her own cousin. But if Zabaleta was right, and this was a slave run, then she knew that Jared would be thankful for what she'd done. With this thought consoling her, she quickly looked around for something she could use as a weapon. She opened cupboards and closets, hoping to find some kind of weapon. As it happened, she found an old shotgun lying in the bottom of a closet. It looked like an older Ariake Technologies model. As she recalled, shotguns had a slow rate of fire, and you had to be careful that they didn't overheat. Silently thanking her father for teaching her how to shoot, she made her way back to the window and waited for the batarians to come. She'd not used her biotics much before, seeing as the Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training had closed down the year before, but she figured that they might come in handy now.

"By the way, the batarians know I'm here now. I don't know how much longer I'll be in communication with you." Elizabeth informed Zabaleta.

"Well, hopefully they'll be too busy shooting at us to worry about you. We're on the ground." Elizabeth carefully looked out the window and saw a shuttle with the Alliance logo emblazoned on the side and smiled. They hadn't been there early enough to help save everyone, but hopefully some would be saved today. She smiled as the batarians turned to face the Alliance troops. The smile fell from her face as she watched the ones that weren't defending open fire on the colonists in the pen.

"NO!" She screamed, and jumped through the window. Some batarians turned to face her again, but she sent them flying with her biotics, then took them out with her shotgun. She missed one, and he got off a shot before one of the Alliance soldiers got him. Seeing that they were outflanked, the surviving batarians began to pile into their own shuttles. "NO!" As the doors closed on the shuttles, she fired at them, but it was no use and she knew it. The six batarian shuttles flew away, and Elizabeth continued to fire after them, not noticing the tears slipping down her face.

"Miss Shepard?" A familiar voice asked, but she ignored it. "Are you Miss Shepard?" Still ignoring it, she walked over to the pen and threw the gate open. She knelt beside the first person she found, but they were already dead. Every person in there was either already dead, or quickly on their way. She noticed Alliance soldiers walking in the pen, doing what they could for the colonists, which was next to nothing. None of them could be saved. "Excuse me, are you Miss Shepard?" The familiar voice asked again, and she finally acknowledged the speaker. A man with dark hair and eyes was standing behind her.

"I'm Elizabeth Shepard, yes."

"I'm Lieutenant Zabaleta. We spoke over the comm." He extended a hand, and Elizabeth shook it. "I'm sorry that we couldn't get here sooner."

"That's okay." Elizabeth said, wiping the tears from her face. "You're not at fault. They are." She nodded her head in the direction the batarian shuttles had flown. Her leg was burning, like it was on fire, but she ignored it.

"That doesn't make me feel any better about it." He shook his head. "We were pinned down. There wasn't anything that we could do. If it hadn't been for you over there, they probably would have made off with more colonists." Elizabeth nodded. Even though she knew the answer to the next question, she asked it anyway.

"Are there any other colonists alive? Any in there that can be saved?"

"I... I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do. And we haven't found any others yet." Elizabeth suddenly felt light-headed and felt herself swaying. "Um, Miss Shepard? Is all that blood from others?" Elizabeth looked down at her hands and saw that she still held the shotgun. She pressed the button to minimize it before dropping it on the ground. "I think you might be bleeding."

"This is my mother's blood, and the blood of the people in the pen." She said, shaking her head.

"I think one of them shot you." He said, and pointed. Elizabeth looked down at her thigh and saw fresh blood.

"That might be fine." She admitted, reaching down. She touched the place that was burning the worst and hissed in pain.

"We'll bring you with us to get you patched up. Is that okay?" Elizabeth nodded and began walking towards the shuttles. Now that she knew she'd been shot, her leg seemed to hurt more. She was buckled into the shuttle and it took off. Elizabeth didn't remember the first time she'd ever been off-planet, because she promptly lost consciousness.


	2. Earth

Elizabeth awoke in a strange place, and it was a moment before she remembered everything that had happened. Her family and friends were all dead, and the ones that weren't had suffered a fate worse than death. She'd since found out that the thing that the batarians had put into the colonist's skulls had been some sort of control device, so that they had to follow whatever orders they were given. It was a bittersweet relief that Jared hadn't met that fate, but had instead died at her hands. There had been no other survivors from Mindoir, and the ones who'd been gunned down in the pen had been too injured to help. Elizabeth was the only one left. Alliance brass didn't quite know what to do with her. As a minor, she was too young to join the military, but she also couldn't be left on Mindoir by herself. Elizabeth didn't care what happened to her. She felt empty, hollow. Her entire world had been destroyed, and there hadn't been anything she could do to stop it. Zabaleta came by to speak with her every day when he wasn't on duty. There wasn't much that he could say to her that she hadn't already said to herself, and vice versa. He felt incredibly guilty about what had happened, and how he hadn't been able to do anything. They mostly just sat together in silence, just thinking. He'd started bringing down a chessboard when he stopped by, so that they might be able to take their minds off things for a little while. When Zabaleta wasn't there, the ship psychiatrist stopped in to see her. According to her, Elizabeth wasn't suffering from survivor's guilt or even posttraumatic stress disorder. Elizabeth had known both of those things before the shrink made the diagnosis. She knew it wasn't her fault that everyone was dead, it was because of those damn batarians. There was no one to blame but them. A month passed, and Alliance brass decided to take her to Earth for the time being. She'd never been there before, and was slightly excited to see it. She knew that she should be more excited, but it felt wrong at a time like this. As the pilot announced they were headed through the mass relay, she headed to the cockpit to watch. The relay was easily one of the largest things she'd ever seen, making the Einstein look like an insect next to it. Not wanting to distract the pilot, or to look childish, she bit back the barrage of questions sitting on the tip of her tongue. As they approached the relay, Elizabeth nearly pressed her nose against the window to watch the process. They passed by the spinning arms and into the element zero core, and the ship was enveloped in blue light. She couldn't find the proper words to describe the magnificence and beauty of the relay, and before she knew it, they had arrived in the Sol system. She headed to the med bay to gather her few belongings that she'd brought from Mindoir. She had a few changes of clothes, and some of her newest presents, as well as the shotgun she'd used. No one else knew that she had it, of course, she'd gone to great lengths to keep it hidden. Before leaving the ship, Zabaleta came to say goodbye.

"Thanks for everything." Elizabeth said, smiling at him. "You've been nothing but kind to me."

"No problem." He raised his omnitool and showed her something. "It's my extranet address. In case you ever want to talk sometime." Elizabeth smiled and added it to her contact list. "You take care of yourself out there." He said, and Elizabeth nodded.

"You, too." She gave him a quick hug before stepping off the ship.

Elizabeth was taken to a group home, a safe place for orphans to stay. There were more orphans than there was money available, but someone had pulled some strings to get her there. She found out quickly that the crew of the Einstein had raised money for a donation to help get her in there, and sent Zabaleta a vid message asking him to thank them for her. Elizabeth also discovered that Earth wasn't the safe haven that the colonists all thought it was. It was dirty, crowded, and messy. There were children everywhere, fighting for scraps of food to keep themselves alive. Elizabeth got a job at a diner near the group home and gave leftovers to the orphans, as well as credits whenever she could. Seeing as the shotgun was too bulky to carry around everywhere and stay hidden, Elizabeth bought herself a small pistol to carry around with her all the time. She'd rather have it and not need it, then need it and not have it, as the old adage goes. On the first anniversary of the attack on Mindoir, she found candles – real candles – and lit them in memory. She only lit three, in memory of the three deaths that meant the most to her. She received a vid call from Zabaleta that day, too.

"Hey. It's good to hear from you." Elizabeth said, smiling at him.

"Hey. How's Earth?" He asked, and she wrinkled her nose.

"Same old, I guess." She shrugged. "I do what I can, but there's not much one person can do."

"Yeah, I hear that." He said. "How're you holding up?"

"I can't believe it's been a year already." Elizabeth replied. "I don't have nightmares about it anymore, at least."

"That's good. Did you hear the news?"

"About what?"

"There's new people going to Mindoir." He said slowly. "I didn't know if you'd heard yet. You could go back if you wanted to."

"I don't think I could go back to stay there. Maybe I'll go see new Mindoir someday, but that's not today."

"I just wanted to make sure that you knew. I didn't know if you'd want to go back or not, but I thought you'd want to know anyway."

"Thanks. It's good to know that one tragedy doesn't ruin things for everyone."

"It's good to see that you're doing okay for yourself." He said, smiling. "I'm gonna have to go now, though. It was good chatting for a while."

"All right. Take care of yourself."

"You, too." Zabaleta said before ending the call. Elizabeth sat back in her chair and let her mind wander. She wondered what new Mindoir would look like, if they'd rebuild on the ghosts of the past, or if they'd move the town to a different location. She'd meant it when she told Zabaleta she'd probably visit it one day. She'd been planning on doing it anyway, but now there was another reason. She opened her omnitool and looked through for the first holo she'd ever taken on it. It was of her parents, at her sixteenth birthday party. Happy. Smiling. The second holo was a selfie of her and Jared. There were a few others of the party, but there were no new holos. She sat beside the candles until they burned out, then went to bed.

**2172**

The next year passed in much the same fashion for Elizabeth. Get up, eat, go to work, come 'home', eat, shower, sleep. Rinse and repeat. She didn't form bonds with the people around her, didn't talk much to her coworkers. One thing she did do differently was take a night course to get her schooling up to date. She'd decided that she wanted to join the Alliance, and you needed a high school diploma for that. There had been a school on Mindoir, and she'd not been in school since leaving. Catching up on one year wasn't nearly as hard as she'd thought it was going to be. Again, on the anniversary of the attack, she sat up in the night with her three candles. This year, Zabaleta didn't call. He'd been sending her messages less and less often now, and Elizabeth found herself wondering what he was up to. She sent him a message, but it came back with an error: 'Address no longer exists'. She hoped he was okay, but there was nothing else she could do. She shrugged and blew out the candle stubs before going to bed.

An hour after her graduation, Elizabeth was standing in the Alliance recruitment center. She was the only one there that day. She assumed that most of her classmates were out celebrating with their families or out partying with friends. Since she had neither, she was here. The man behind the counter looked at her credentials before typing something on a keyboard.

"What kind of skills do you have?" He asked lazily.

"I have an L3 biotic implant, and I have some technical skills." Elizabeth replied.

"Were you at BAaT?" He asked. At Elizabeth's blank look, he hit a button. "I'll take that as a no. Now, any combat experience?"

"I was at Mindoir." She said quietly.

"I don't want to know what colony you're from. You came a long way just to sign up."

"You don't understand. I was at Mindoir on April 12, 2170." Elizabeth said just as quietly. He looked up at her.

"I'll need more than just your word for it, honey." He said mockingly.

"Ask anyone who was on the SSV Einstein. They'll vouch for me."

"I'll make a note of that. Someone else can check up on it." He asked her a few more questions before holding out his left arm, bent at the elbow. Elizabeth held up her own omnitool next to his own, and he transferred her credentials over. "You'll have a hard copy soon, as well as dog tags." He stood and offered Elizabeth his hand, which she shook. "Welcome to the Alliance."

Upon arrival at the base, Elizabeth been put through a training exercise to see what exactly her skills were. She was classed as a 'Sentinel', skilled in both biotic and tech abilities. She underwent gene therapy for improved strength and stamina, and to correct any other basic genetic flaws that may have slipped through the cracks over the years. As a biotic, she was given slightly higher pay than an ordinary soldier. The fact that she'd been on Mindoir had been confirmed, and she started off as a Servicemen 2nd Class. The other recruits seemed somewhat in awe of her, and it irritated her. She hadn't asked for what had happened in her life, she just had to find some way to deal with it the best that she could. Every morning before breakfast, they went on a run around the base. After breakfast was drill, then weapons practice, which consisted of target practice and safe weapons handling. That usually went until lunch, and after lunch was more drill. Afterwards was tactical skills – learning about warship and groundside tactics of every species. Then there was a separate class for biotics, learning better control over them and exactly what skills they could bring to the battlefield. Elizabeth was particularly adept at throwing and warp fields. Other recruits were better than she was at biotics, but there were also some there who'd gone to BAaT. Then it was supper, and a few hours of spare time before lights out. After a few months of this, the recruits were separated into smaller groups that focused more on certain things. Elizabeth was put into a group that was focused on Non-Commissioned Officer training. There were some missions on other worlds, to familiarize them with other planet types, and the effects it would have on their bodies and weapons. Even though Elizabeth didn't go out seeking friends, many recruits considered them to be friends. When they were missing their families, or having problems with something, they came to her and Elizabeth helped them. She personally couldn't see why they were coming to her, she didn't think that she was any different from the others there. The year passed, and the higher-ups had noticed or been told about how she helped the recruits, and was promoted to Serviceman 1st Class. Now that she was up for a promotion to NCO, Elizabeth was pushed harder. Not only by the Alliance, but by herself. Her father had been an NCO, an Operations Chief, up for promotion to officer. But then he'd lost his leg and been honourably discharged. Elizabeth was determined to do her father's memory proud.

**2175**

Elizabeth received formal training with a pistol, but since the Alliance wanted them to carry all weapons at all times, she made sure that she familiarized herself with all of the arsenal. She was trying to get herself certified to use a shotgun, but it was tough going. None of the other Sentinels were formally trained in its use, and it appeared that they didn't want to show favouritism. Nevertheless, she continued to use it and the sniper rifle. Technically, it was a borderline infringement of rules, but it was unlikely that anyone really cared enough to do something about it. Elizabeth was down at the range one afternoon cleaning her old shotgun, when someone sat down at the table across from her.

"Hello." He said, and Elizabeth looked up. It was a dark-skinned man who looked to be in his late thirties. She looked on his shoulder, where his rank identified him as a 2nd Lieutenant, an officer. She was an NCO, a Service Chief, so he outranked her by a fair bit. She put down the shotgun and began to stand, but he shook his head. "Rank doesn't matter here. On the firing range, we're all the same." Elizabeth sat back down.

"Gunnery Chief Shepard, sir." She said, nodding.

"2nd Lieutenant David Anderson." He said, extending his hand. Elizabeth shook it and smiled.

"Is there something you needed, sir?" She asked.

"It'd be nice if you stopped calling me 'sir'. I'd like to be able to go somewhere outside the officer's mess and be able to relax." When Elizabeth didn't move, he gestured towards her shotgun. "Go ahead, it needs to be cleaned." She slowly picked the shotgun back up, waiting to see if this was some kind of test. When he merely nodded, she resumed cleaning. "I take it you're Elizabeth Shepard, from Mindoir." He said bluntly, and she nodded.

"Yes, that's me." She glanced up at him, waiting to see what he said next. Most people offered their condolences, and to be honest, it was starting to get old. It had been five years since that day, and some people appeared to expect her to fall apart at any moment.

"Only one survivor, that's what all the vids said. You've been through a lot for someone so young." Anderson seemed to be speaking to himself, and not to her. "Damn batarians. And they wonder why they lost their embassy on the Citadel."

"I wouldn't know anything about that." Elizabeth said, looking down the barrel of the shotgun. She began to reassemble it.

"You're a Sentinel, aren't you?" He asked, and she nodded. "What's with the shotgun?"

"I've had this with me since Mindoir. It was the first weapon I ever fired."

"Damn. You were what, fifteen?"

"I'd just turned sixteen the day before."

"Way to ruin a girl's birthday, huh." He looked at the shotgun. "Well, look at it this way. You knew how to fire a weapon before you showed up. There's that much they did for you."

"Looking for a silver lining, are you?" Elizabeth asked, and smiled. Her mind wandered, and she watched Jared flying through the air all over again. She didn't realize that Anderson had asked her a question right away. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if that was your first kill." Elizabeth swallowed past a lump in her throat.

"No. My first kill was biotically."

"Sent those bastards flying, eh?" He asked, chuckling.

"That wasn't intentional." She took a deep breath. "My first kill was my cousin Jared. They had him kneeling on the ground, and they were about to cut him open to put in one of those control chips. I couldn't stand the thought of that happening to him, so I killed him." She looked into Anderson's eyes. "I know that if he could thank me for it, he would. That's why his death doesn't haunt me."

"I'm sorry to bring up bad memories." He said quietly.

"That's okay. I haven't spoken to anyone about it in years. There was one crew member from the SSV Einstein that I used to be in contact with, but I haven't heard from him in years. I hope he hasn't died, but it's very likely."

"Maybe I can help you find him. Get some closure." Anderson offered.

"That might help. Then I know whether or not I have to worry about him anymore." Elizabeth let out a breath. "His name was Lieutenant Ernesto Zabaleta. I don't know what level he was."

"I'll see what I can do." Anderson stood and Elizabeth followed suit.

"Sorry for dumping that on you." She apologized, but Anderson waved his arm.

"It's nothing. We're all brothers and sisters in arms, now. If you can't trust us, who can you trust?" He smiled at her. "I'll look into finding him, and I'll let you know as soon as I have any information on him." Anderson left the range, and Elizabeth picked up her shotgun. She'd been told that officers would come by and interview NCOs they thought were officer material, and she wondered if that had been hers, and how well she'd done if that were so. Shaking her head, she left the range and went back to her bunk.

It didn't take Anderson long to find the information. Zabaleta had been dishonourably discharged and diagnosed with severe PTSD.

"I'm sorry it's not better news." Anderson said, and Elizabeth shook her head.

"At least he's alive. That's better than what I had to go on before." Elizabeth smiled. "Thank you for finding this for me. It means a lot."

"It's no trouble." Anderson waited a moment before speaking again. "You're a bright girl. You've probably already figured out why I came to talk to you."

"I've been pointed out as a candidate for promotion to officer." Elizabeth said. "You were interviewing me. I hope that I didn't make a poor impression."

"You're your father's daughter, that's for sure. According to his records, he was up for promotion himself until…" He cleared his throat before continuing. "He always kept his head. That's what the records show. A good man, and a good soldier."

"Thank you." Elizabeth said, smiling.

"You're only a gunny, but it's unlikely to stay that way much longer. You know that. And after that, well…" Anderson smiled at her. "I'll save you a spot in the officer's mess." Pride surged up in Elizabeth's chest. She knew that Anderson wasn't supposed to tell her that much, but she was grateful that he had.

"Thank you. I'm glad that I made such a good impression on you."

"You'll make one hell of an officer." Was all Anderson said, before walking away.


	3. Return to Mindoir

**2176**

Elizabeth had some shore leave. Actual shore leave, where she could go where she wanted to. She had enough credits saved up to do almost anything she wanted to do, but there was one thing she wanted to do more than anything else. She went to the transport station on Earth and booked a flight to Mindoir. She'd been promoted to Operations Chief, and she wanted to make sure she got to Mindoir. The ship she was on was crowded with people who wanted to start a life on the colony. Mindoir wasn't the only colony the ship was stopping at, just the most well-known. Elizabeth was dressed in civilian clothes, and it felt odd, after four years of wearing military-issue garments. When the vessel stopped at Mindoir, she picked up her bag and got off. It was far more crowded now than it had been while she was there. But, on the other hand, the anniversary of the attack was upon them once again. She'd been dropped off just outside where the colonists had built the new town. Before Elizabeth made a tour of the place, she decided that she needed somewhere to stay. After asking around, she learned that there was an inn of sorts for people passing through. She found it quickly enough. It was a large, three-story building just off the main square. She entered the building and approached the counter, placing her bag beside her feet.

"Hello?" She asked. "Is anyone here?"

"Just a moment, dear." A woman's voice called from the back. "Be right with you." Elizabeth looked around and saw that there were a few people in the common room. Most were eating, and others were talking. They nearly all appeared to be from the area. A noise behind the counter drew her attention, and she looked to see an older woman standing there, smiling up at her.

"I'd like to book a room." Elizabeth asked, and the woman's smile broadened.

"For how long, my dear?" She asked.

"Maybe a week. Maybe less."

"Ah, here for the anniversary." The woman said, and Elizabeth nodded. The woman typed something on a keyboard before turning back to her. "Now, what's your name?"

"Elizabeth Shepard." She'd not said it very loud, but the entire room fell silent. Elizabeth looked around and saw that everyone was staring at her. The older woman's eyes looked as though they were going to fall out of her head.

"The Elizabeth Shepard?" One of them asked. "The one who grew up here?"

"Yes. How do you know that name?" She asked. To the best of her knowledge, her name had been kept out of the vids, and any statements made by the Alliance, so she didn't know how these people knew her name.

"You mean you don't know?" Another man asked. "There's a memorial with the names of the fallen in the old town square."

"But what does that have to do with me? I obviously didn't fall." This wasn't exactly the reception she had expected. She'd figured she could just blend in with the crowd, but it didn't look like that was going to happen now.

"There's a plaque on the statue, telling of how you fought to try and save everyone." The woman explained. "I can't believe you don't know about it."

"I'll have to go and look at it. Now, can I get a room or not?" She asked, turning back to the woman.

"Not here, you can't. You have to go and stay at the mayor's house." She said, and Elizabeth groaned inwardly. "I'll take your bag and go talk to the mayor. One of you boys, get her a car to the old square."

"That's not necessary. I want to walk." Elizabeth said, and the man standing looked at the other woman.

"It's a long way, dear." The woman protested. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I've been cooped up in that cramped ship for days. I want a chance to stretch my legs." Ignoring the woman's further complaints, she picked up her bag and headed out the door. Now thankful that she'd used the bag that easily converted to a rucksack, she strapped it to her back before setting off at a jog. She was curious to see this monument, and to discover who'd set it up. It took her about half an hour to get to the old town square. The houses were untouched. The houses were still in good repair, and would likely stay that way for a long time. She hoped that the other houses were still standing. She wanted to visit her old home. She made her way through the old town and into the square. A large black stone grew out of the ground in the middle of the square. Beyond it were numerous graves, where the casualties of that day had been laid to rest. She walked up to the monument. It was shiny, and names were engraved into its surface, then had been filled with silvery metal. It was unlikely that it was actual silver, however. The names were alphabetical, and she ran her hand over the list. She paused at _Shepard, Gregory _and _Shepard, Joanna_ as well as _Wilkes, Jared_. Below the list of names there was a plaque with her name at the top.

_Elizabeth Shepard_

_Only sixteen at the time, she fought bravely to fend off the batarian invaders. She risked her life to contact the Alliance, and risked it again when she saw her family in danger. She was wounded in her attempts to save her friends and family. While her efforts were ultimately in vain, they are appreciated regardless. She was the only colonist left standing at the end of the day. _

"What do you think?" Elizabeth spun around to see a man walking towards her. He was tall with dark hair, and had a small smile upon his lips.

"What?"

"Do you like it?" He asked. He stopped beside her and looked up at the monument.

"It's very nice." She said after a moment. "Who are you?"

"I apologize. My name is Michael Walker. I'm the mayor here. Zelda told me you'd arrived. The innkeeper." He explained, and Elizabeth nodded. "You didn't know this was here?"

"I had no idea until today." She looked up at the names once more. "It's better than nothing, I guess." She looked around at the old town surrounding them. "Are the farmhouses still standing, too?"

"Yes. We use the fields around them, but we haven't touched the houses."

"I'd like to go visit my home."

"Very well. I'll just call –"

"No need." Elizabeth interrupted. "I don't want you people following me around the whole time I'm here. I want to be treated like any other person while I'm here, and if that means I have to hide from you all, then so be it. This is my first time back here, and I don't want your people pissing me off."

"I understand." Michael stepped back. "If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Why are you all so… fanatic about me?" Elizabeth asked. "This wasn't your colony. This wasn't your home."

"Most of us have relatives on that wall." He explained. "We know that while you didn't save any lives, you did your best. And the ones that are still alive would probably prefer death right now, in my opinion."

"All right. Just don't crowd me, and we'll get along fine." Elizabeth said, then nodded to Michael before breaking into a jog. She realized belatedly that she hadn't asked who'd put up the monument, but she decided that she could ask later. It didn't take her long to reach the place she'd once called home. As she looked up at it, tears filled her eyes. The two-story house looked exactly the same. With the smell of crops on the air and the sound of tractors humming, it was almost as though the past six years had never happened. She slowly approached the house and looked inside. There was a small entryway with a closet which opened into the living room. In the living room were the stairs that led up to the second story of the house. Beyond the living room was the dining room, and lastly was the kitchen. Up the stairs were the four bedrooms. There was a bathroom downstairs just off the kitchen, and the master bedroom upstairs had its own attached bathroom as well as a balcony. Between the two smaller bedrooms was a half-bath that connected the two of them. As she explored the house, Elizabeth wrinkled her nose at the amount of dust that had piled up. Joanna would have been appalled if she could see the amount of dust that had settled on everything. Elizabeth decided to rectify that. It didn't take her long to get the water running again, seeing as they'd had their own well, and then she began to clean. She wiped the dust and grime off of everything, washed the laundry, and scrubbed the floors. Apparently, Joanna hadn't had time to wash the dishes from breakfast that morning, because they were still sitting in the sink. It took a while, but she was eventually able to get the years-old food off of the plates. By the time she'd finished washing everything, the sun had set and the stars were out. Exhausted, she collapsed onto the couch, sending thousands of little dust motes into the air. Promising herself she'd clean it up in the morning, she promptly fell asleep.

When Elizabeth woke up in the morning, she took a deep breath. Well, she tried, but all the dust made her cough. She stood up and looked down at the make-shift bed. It was dirty, and now her clothes were even dustier than they had been the day before. She showered and cleaned her clothes by hand to get most of the dust out before running the wash machine. She'd changed into clean clothes and was getting ready to leave when there was a knock on the door. She opened the door to see Michael standing there.

"When Zelda said you hadn't been back, I thought you might have stayed the night out here." He said, smiling.

"Yeah. I cleaned it up as best I could." She said, showing him.

"Wow. Looks good in here." He said, walking around. "Were you planning on moving back in or something?"

"Maybe someday. Maybe I could hire someone to keep an eye on the house while I'm not here. You know, keep it clean and whatever."

"If you don't mind me asking, what exactly do you do for a living?"

"I'm in the Alliance. Operations Chief." She explained.

"Good on you." He smiled at her. "I don't think it would be too hard to get someone to stop by a couple times a week or whatever to clean it up in here. Maybe send in someone to inspect it for damages, see if anything needs repairs."

"Thank you. I'd appreciate that." Elizabeth said.

"Not a problem." He paused, looking at her. He was fidgeting, seemingly waiting for something.

"Is there something else you wanted?" She asked, and his cheeks tinged red.

"I had hoped I wasn't so obvious about it, but yes. I was wondering if you might want to say a few words tomorrow at the ceremony."

"I hadn't realized that there was an actual ceremony for the anniversary." Elizabeth admitted.

"It's nothing big. Usually it's just us and a few off-worlders, mostly other relatives."

"I guess it wouldn't kill me to say a few words." Elizabeth said reluctantly.

"Only if it wouldn't be too much trouble. I had assumed that you were going to be there anyway. The ceremony is at ten am, at Monument Square." He informed her.

"I'll be there with bells on." She said drily.

"I'll see you then." Michael said. "Were you going to go get some breakfast? I can give you a life back, if you'd like."

"I'd like that, yes." Elizabeth said, and Michael led her outside.

"We don't have many skycars. I have one and the doctor has one."

"I'm glad that you have your own doctor now." Elizabeth said. Michael hit a button on his omnitool and the doors opened on the skycar.

"It's nice. We're virtually self-sustainable. We just need off-world crop buyers." They climbed in and Michael started it up, then headed back to town. It took all of about ten minutes, and they went to the inn. "Zelda has a breakfast special for marines." He said, smiling. The older woman absolutely doted on the two of them, giving them second helpings, and trying to force thirds upon them as well.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, I just can't eat any more." Elizabeth protested. "I'll take some coffee, though."

"Oh, hush. There's no ma'am-ing here, now. It's just Zelda to you, missy." Zelda refilled her cup before heading over to talk to another customer. Elizabeth sipped on her coffee and watched the other people in the room. They were all being rather quiet, as though afraid of her. Frowning, she voiced her concerns to Michael.

"They just don't know quite what to make of you yet." He told her. "They've never met someone like you before."

"The only difference between them and me is a few holes." Elizabeth said, and her hand dropped to the old wound on her thigh.

"They don't see it like that. They see someone who was brave enough to fight back instead of hiding."

"I want them to see me as just another person, though." Elizabeth protested.

"I don't know if that'll ever happen." Michael finished his coffee before standing. "Just put it on my tab, Zelda."

"I'm not about to let you pay for breakfast." Elizabeth protested. "I'll cover it."

"I'm not gonna be accepting your credits, missy." Zelda said. "Or yours, Michael. Not this morning."

"Fine." Elizabeth stood and turned to the older woman. "I'm paying for everyone's breakfast, then."

"No, you're not." Zelda protested, but Elizabeth ignored her. Raising her omnitool, she transferred one thousand credits to the inn.

"Yes, I am." Elizabeth said, then left the inn. She walked down the street looking for somewhere to get a few groceries to tide her over for a few days. She was just leaving the grocery store when Michael found her.

"I thought you might have gone back already."

"No, not yet." Elizabeth said. "Is Zelda upset with me?"

"A little bit." He smiled. "But I think everyone else was quite impressed."

"I don't accept charity." Elizabeth said, shaking her head. "Never have, never will."

"You heading back?" He asked, gesturing towards her burden.

"I was planning on it, yes."

"I'll give you a lift back. Then I'll get on sending someone out to inspect it."

"I'd appreciate it." Elizabeth said, smiling. They went back to the skycar and returned to the Shepard farm.

"I'll call you when he's on the way." Michael said.

"Thanks. Here's my info." She held up her arm, the one with the omnitool, and he did the same.

"All right. Catch you later." Michael drove off, and Elizabeth went back into the house to put her meagre groceries in the fridge. Then she set about trying to beat the dust out of the furniture, to no avail. It looked like she might have to purchase new furniture. She sighed and began to carry furniture outside. She was nearly finished when she got a call from Michael.

"Shepard." She answered automatically.

"Hey, it's just Michael. I'm on my way with the inspector now."

"All right. See you in a bit." Elizabeth said, then ended the call. She pulled the couch the rest of the way out of the door and dropped it with a sigh. Thankfully, the bed frames would be salvageable, and only the mattresses needed to go. She was attempting to wrestle one of these down the stairs when Michael and the inspector arrived. Elizabeth heard a knock on the door. "It's open." She shouted over her shoulder.

"All right there?" Michael asked.

"I've been doing some 'inspecting' of my own, and I have some to the conclusion that much of the furniture needs to go." Elizabeth informed them. "That's what I'm currently working on." She got the mattress down the stairs and smiled at Michael and the man next to him.

"This is Chris Reeves. He's the inspector I told you about."

"Pleased to meet you." Chris smiled and shook Elizabeth's hand. "I'm just going to be checking how sound the house is. I shouldn't be too long, these houses were all very well made."

"Thanks for coming out on such short notice." Elizabeth said.

"It's not a problem." He said, then walked into the house. Elizabeth smiled at Michael.

"Thanks for all this."

"I've also managed to get someone to come by a few times a week to clean up. It's one of Zelda's granddaughters, so you can be sure she'll get out here."

"Wow. That was fast."

"It's not everyday someone from Mindoir gets to work for Elizabeth Shepard." Michael said, and Elizabeth shook her head.

"I'm not that special. I hope people will realize that." Elizabeth looked up at the house.

"When do you think you're going to retire?" Michael asked, and Elizabeth shrugged.

"I don't know for sure. Another ten years, maybe more. I can't say much at the moment. Retirement isn't something that I've really thought about."

"That makes sense. With only four years under your belt, you've got a long way to go." Michael and Elizabeth chatted for a while longer as Chris finished his inspection.

"She's good for a long while yet. There are some things that you could do, but those are maintenance issues." Chris said.

"What would you recommend?" Elizabeth asked. Chris showed her how she could renovate the place to make it more eco-friendly, like the newer houses. "I'll have to think on that. Why don't you forward me the plans so that I can look at them more?" Chris did so, and he also sent her an extranet address with more home reno ideas.

"Just in case, you know. You can always come up with your own ideas, but these might help." Elizabeth thanked him, then the two men left, leaving Elizabeth alone again. She went back upstairs and got the last mattress out of the house, then decided to make something to eat. While she was eating, she felt incredibly jumpy. She came to the conclusion that it was the silence. To a soldier, silence wasn't always a good sign. It could mean that something had gone wrong, or that something was about to. It could mean that you were simply waiting for orders. But Elizabeth wasn't used to the silence anymore. Having spent the last six years surrounded by people, silence was odd. After cleaning up from supper, she decided to play some music to help keep the silence at bay. Before going to bed, Elizabeth set an alarm to wake her in the morning. She didn't turn the music off.

Elizabeth woke early the next morning. She made up some breakfast then had a quick shower before looking for something presentable to wear to the ceremony. She eventually settled on a simple white blouse and black slacks with black boots. Just as she was getting ready to walk to Memorial Square, Michael pulled up outside her house in the skycar.

"Want a ride?" He asked. "You wouldn't want to show up all sweaty-looking."

"Thanks." Elizabeth smiled and climbed inside.

"Not a problem." Once the doors were closed, he drove off. "Given any thought about what you're going to say?"

"Actually, I haven't." Elizabeth frowned. "You'd think I'd be more nervous."

"Ah, you'll do fine. And even if you don't, I don't think you could disappoint us." Michael teased, but Elizabeth didn't respond. "What the hell…" Elizabeth looked out the window to see what Michael was talking about. There was a group of people there who were obviously not friends or family of the deceased. Not with video drones, anyway. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I don't know who invited the press."

"That's okay. I take it they don't usually swing by?"

"The first year, yeah. But I guess someone leaked your presence. You don't have to talk if you don't want to."

"No, I'll be fine." Elizabeth said. "I had to face them eventually, I guess. May as well do it here." Michael nodded and brought the skycar to a halt. They climbed out, and Elizabeth followed him to a small dais beside the monument. Once he had everyone's attention, he began to speak.

"I'd like to thank everyone who came today to pay their respects to the deceased. Normally, I would say a few words, but this year we have a special guest. Some of you have met her already, but most of you haven't. It is my honour to present to you Miss Elizabeth Shepard." Michael gestured grandly in her direction, and Elizabeth smiled nervously. There was a small, polite smattering of applause as Michael stepped back from the dais and Elizabeth took his place.

"Thank you." Elizabeth looked at the audience. They stared up at her with eager eyes. "I must admit, I didn't know that there was a ceremony every year, or that there was a monument here. It's good to see that I'm not the only one who lost family here, that there are others in mourning just as I am." Elizabeth swallowed past a lump in her throat before continuing. "It's also good to know that despite the tragic event that occurred here, people are still willing to make a go of it. It's good to see people rebuild, to move forward." Elizabeth glanced over at Michael, who smiled at her. "It's so similar, yet so different. When I came back, I didn't quite know what to expect. I'd heard that there were colonists coming back here, but I didn't think much of it then. This is the first time I've set foot on this planet since that day." Looking past the audience, Elizabeth saw that the woman with the vid drone was taping her. "But I didn't come here to talk about me. I came here to remember what was lost that day. What we all lost." Elizabeth gestured towards the monument. "Almost every person here lost someone that day. A brother, a sister, a cousin. That's why we're here today. I'd like for us to have a minute of silence to honour our families." Elizabeth bowed her head, trying to hide the tears that had suddenly sprung up. When the minute was over, she took a deep breath before speaking again. "Thank you. I see that many of you have flowers to lay, either here at the monument or at graves. Please, feel free to do so." Elizabeth stepped away from the dais and wiped the tears from her cheeks. Out of the corner of her eye she saw that the reporter woman was making a beeline for her. Not wanting to talk to her yet, Elizabeth walked over to Michael.

"You're sure you didn't plan that out?" He asked, smiling.

"I'm sure." Lowering her voice, she leaned closer. "How close is that reporter?"

"She seems to be waiting for us to finish talking." Michael said. "If you don't want to talk to the press, you don't have to."

"I'll talk to her. I just want a minute before I do." Elizabeth took a deep breath.

"Thanks for speaking. You didn't have to."

"Yes, I think I did." Elizabeth looked over her shoulder at the reporter. She looked to be of East Indian descent, with her dark hair, skin and eyes. "I guess it's time to feed the sharks." Michael followed her gaze and chuckled.

"Have fun." He said, and Elizabeth nodded before approaching the woman.

"Miss Shepard? Khalisa Bint Sinan al-Jilani, Westerlund News." Elizabeth shook her hand. "I was wondering if you'd like to answer a few questions for me."

"It's not a problem. I just don't see how I'm newsworthy."

"People want to see strength. They want to see others moving on past tragedies. Your story is just that." As the woman started up her vid drone, Elizabeth set her omnitool to record. Just in case they edited the interview to make it more 'interesting'.

"Miss Shepard, you said that this is the first time you've been here since 2170?"

"Yes, I did. I was sixteen at the time, and I was still a minor, so legally I couldn't remain here. I was taken to Earth, where I was placed in a home. I got a job and finished my schooling there."

"But you've been a legal adult for four years. What happened that made you come this year?"

"After I graduated, I joined the Alliance military, and I've been with them for four years."

"Right after the attack, you must have been traumatized. How did you move past that?"

"I don't think that I ever was 'traumatized', as you put it. I visited a psychiatrist, and she determined that I wasn't suffering from survivor's guilt, or even posttraumatic stress disorder."

"What about anger? Any other feelings?"

"Anger at myself. Angry because I didn't do enough, didn't move fast enough."

"No anger towards the batarians? Surprising." The woman seemed determined to paint Elizabeth as an angry, bitter young woman. Elizabeth smirked as she answered this question.

"Being angry at the past changes nothing. All it does is turn people bitter and sour. There's nothing I can do to change the past, so there's no point in focusing on it."

"As I understand it, the batarians took a number of people as slaves. You don't want to try and get them back? You don't want revenge?"

"Don't take the moral high ground, Miss Jilani. Humans had slaves once, too. We didn't implant control chips in the back of their heads, but we still had slaves."

"That didn't answer my question, though." The reporter seemed to be frustrated that Elizabeth wasn't responding the way she wanted.

"Like I said, batarian slaves have control chips. If I tried to rescue them, it's very likely that they wouldn't cooperate. They might actively work against me. And besides, the batarians have numerous colonies. I wouldn't know where to start looking. And what is one woman going to do against the batarian Hegemony? All I'd be doing is throwing my life away. All that I can do is pray that they're not being mistreated." Jilani turned as red as her dark complexion would allow, and Elizabeth suspected it was anger colouring the other woman's cheeks.

"Why did you join the Alliance?" She asked. "Some would say that doing so goes against what you just said."

"As a matter of fact, it doesn't. I joined the Alliance to help humanity, not in some insane quest for revenge. If it hadn't been for the SSV Einstein, it's unlikely that I'd be standing here today giving you this interview. I owe my life to the Alliance, and I intend to repay that debt."

"But-"

"This interview is over, Miss Jilani. If you're a xenophobe, then that's fine. But don't try to paint me with the same brush." Elizabeth walked away, shutting off her omnitool as she went.

The rest of her time on Mindoir was spent with the people of the colony. There wasn't much that she could do to help, but Elizabeth did her best wherever she could. On her last day there, Michael came to see her off.

"It's too bad that you have to go." Michael was driving her down to the spaceport, where she would catch a shuttle to the nearest planet that had a 'real' spaceport. "We're all going to miss you."

"I'll try to stop by whenever I can." Elizabeth promised. "I might not be able to give any notice, but I'll do my best."

"Well, don't be a stranger." Michael said. They arrived at the spaceport, and Elizabeth gave him her extranet address.

"Just in case you want to talk sometime." Elizabeth said.

"I'll make sure I do that." Michael grabbed Elizabeth's bag out of the back of the skycar and carried it to the shuttle. He gave her a small hug before handing her the bag.

"Thanks again for all your help." Elizabeth smiled at him, then climbed into the shuttle. As it took off, she watched out the window as Michael waved until he was a small dot on the planet's surface.


	4. Akuze

**2177**

Elizabeth had completed her officer's training, and was now a 2nd Lieutenant. Anderson had indeed saved her a seat in the officer's mess. He was now a Lieutenant Commander, only a few ranks above her. Anderson was the closest thing she'd had to a friend in a very long time. There was Michael, of course, but Elizabeth felt that he hero-worshipped her like the rest of Mindoir did. Michael sent her messages from time to time, telling her about the colony, but not much else. Elizabeth suspected that he was attracted to her, but hoped that he wouldn't make an issue of it. After Elizabeth had returned from Mindoir, he had told her that her speech and interview had aired. Anderson had recorded them so that she could watch them. Elizabeth was glad to see that whomever Jilani's boss was hadn't edited the interview much, only taking out the last sentence or two. But, after that had aired, Elizabeth had begun to receive all sorts of fan/hate mail from people all over the galaxy. While a large number of people told her that she was right, others told her that she should declare all-out war on the Hegemony, and damn the consequences. It had gotten to the point where Elizabeth had needed to set up a VI program to delete all messages that weren't from a certain address. She was in her quarters listening to the latest message from Michael when Anderson walked in.

"_Well, Emma, Zelda's granddaughter, the one cleaning your house, she wants to know if you want to put furniture in there anytime soon. She says it looks odd without it. But anyway, I hope you're doing ok. Hopefully next time I'll catch you, and we can actually chat for a bit. Talk to you later!"_ Elizabeth sighed and exited the message, getting ready to type up a response. That was when Anderson cleared his throat, announcing his arrival.

"Shit, Anderson, I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd come in." Elizabeth stood up and smiled. Anderson wasn't much for formalities, something Elizabeth was grateful for.

"Not a problem." Anderson said, then nodded at her computer. "Boyfriend?"

"He wishes." Elizabeth scoffed, shaking her head. "He and the rest of Mindoir damn near worship me. I don't think that I could stand that in a relationship."

"I understand. And besides, military life isn't really suited for relationships." Anderson replied. If anyone knew, it was him. Anderson had gone through a divorce, his wife not being able to cope with the hours that he worked.

"Was there something you wanted me for?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yup. You're going off-planet with a marine unit."

"What's up? Sounds important."

"We're in the early stages of colonization on a planet out in the Traverse. Akuze. We've lost all contact with the pioneer team. You're leading the unit. Fifty men and women under your command. You're headed out tonight."

"I'm leading them?" Elizabeth asked quietly.

"Yes. The higher-ups figure it's about time you had your own command. You're not captaining the vessel that's taking you there, but once you're groundside, you're in charge."

"I'll do my best." Elizabeth promised.

"I know you will. Report to the docking bay at 1800 hours." Anderson left, and Elizabeth waited until the door closed behind him before she danced around her room a little. Finally, her own command! She was ecstatic. She'd led squads before, as a part of a unit, but this was the first time she'd been given a unit.

She quickly penned a response to Michael, telling him that no, she didn't want furniture right now, but to see if he could get a contact a contractor to install a wrap-around deck, and that he would be unable to contact her for a while, as she was leaving on a mission that evening. She quickly packed her belongings and waited impatiently for the rest of the afternoon to pass.

The trip to Akuze was uneventful, which was good. They traveled on the SSV Trafalgar, an average-sized frigate. There were five squads under her command, each headed by an NCO. Operations Chiefs Davidson, Jefferies, Coleman, Scott, and Wesley, leading each squad respectively. She'd worked with Davidson, Scott and Wesley before, and even with some of the soldiers they were commanding. Elizabeth was dropped in a Mako, and the other squads were shuttled down. Squad One hit the ground just after she did, and she quickly set them up covering the remaining squads, just in case there were hostiles in the area that they didn't know about yet. Once they were all groundside, they headed to the main settlement, which wasn't very far. Upon arrival, they found the settlement intact with no survivors. Elizabeth split up the squads to search the houses and any surrounding buildings, just to be sure. She waited alone in the main square. Elizabeth couldn't bring herself to search the houses. If it wasn't for the distinct lack of bodies, she might have suspected that the batarians had hit another colony for slaves. As each squad reported that there were no signs of struggle and no bodies, Elizabeth's hopes for a happy ending to this mission fell. Once all of the squads returned, they searched the fields near the settlement. It appeared that there were no houses in the surrounding area, and their search had produced no results as of yet. As the sun began to sink, Elizabeth ordered them to set up camp for the night and to start making supper. She'd chosen a small valley – protected from the elements, and any lights they used wouldn't be seen. Any enemy they faced would have the high ground, but the valley was defensible. There was a rock face on the south side of the camp, wide enough to provide cover for all of them. She parked the Mako right beside it, in case it was needed in an emergency. As the squads each figured out how the watch rotation was going to work, Elizabeth patrolled around the camp. Akuze was too quiet for her liking. There should have been some sound. Any sound would have been better than this silence. She felt the ground quake beneath her, and mentally cursed for speaking too soon.

"Davidson? What the hell was that?" Elizabeth shouted.

"I don't know, ma'am." He answered, looking confused. "This planet isn't supposed to be prone to earthquakes." Elizabeth raised her omnitool and scanned for hostiles. Her HUD wasn't lighting anything up, but she still felt uneasy. It was unlikely that a quake had taken out the colonists, or else there would have been structural damage at the settlement. The soldiers appeared to be waiting for her to say something, to put them at ease.

"The problem with colonies is that we don't usually know a whole lot about the world we're settling. We just have to take it day by day." The soldiers seemed to relax somewhat at her words. "I want three soldiers on each watch." Normally it was only two, but having more people on watch would make her feel safer, as well as the soldiers. An extra pair of eyes never hurt. Just as Elizabeth began patrolling again, the ground beneath her moved again. Quickly looking at her omnitool, her HUD flashed red for a moment before the hostile indicator faded. Frowning, she looked around at the camp. The ground shook again, and on the far side of the camp, something rose out of the ground with an inhuman shriek. It stood about thirty meters out of the ground, and was sand-coloured. The top had four tentacles surrounding what Elizabeth assumed was its head. She watched as it spat out a viscous green liquid over some of the soldiers. As it hit them they screamed in agony as the liquid burned through their hardsuits. "Get into cover!" Elizabeth shouted, and ran for the rock face. The ground trembled again, and she looked over her shoulder to see another of the creatures rise out of the ground. Just as Elizabeth was about to dive into cover, she heard a soldier behind her scream. She stopped to look back, only to get splashed by some of the liquid. She bit back a scream as the liquid ate through her hardsuit. Whatever it was, the liquid was highly corrosive. After a quick head count, she discovered that barely half the troops she'd landed with had made it to the rock face.

"What are those things?" One of them asked, and she ignored him.

"Is anyone injured?" She asked. "Anyone get hit with that gunk?"

"A little bit." One of them admitted. "It hurt when it hit me, but it doesn't hurt now."

"Me, too. It doesn't look like it's poisonous, just corrosive." She peeked over the edge of the rock and saw that the creatures were still there. Elizabeth activated her comms. "Shepard to Trafalgar. Anybody copy?"

"_This is the SSV Trafalgar, we read you."_

"We've encountered an unknown enemy. We need evac. Do not land here. I repeat, _do not land_ where my signal is coming from."

"_Understood. How many are with you?"_

"Right now, we are at less than half strength. It's likely there may be more casualties."

"_Affirmative. We will send a shuttle to the original LZ. Radio with numbers as you approach, and we'll send more if necessary."_

"Shepard out." Elizabeth turned to the soldiers hiding with her. "All right. You all heard that, right?" At their mute nods, she continued. "I don't expect us all to make it back alive. That's not lack of faith on your part, however. We're facing an unknown enemy here. All we know for sure is that they're pissed off."

"What's the plan, ma'am?" One of them asked, and Elizabeth thought for a moment.

"We need a distraction." Just as the words left her mouth, a large glob of liquid hit the rock face, eating through part of it. One soldier screamed as it ate through his face, and the one beside him emptied his stomach. Elizabeth waited for her to finish before continuing. "You gonna be all right, soldier?"

"Yes, ma'am." She replied quietly.

"Good. Now, it looks as though their patience is wearing thin. I need a few volunteers to stay behind with me while the others go on ahead." Almost immediately, every hand went in the air. "I said a few, not all."

"With all due respect, ma'am, I don't think that's going to happen." It was the woman who'd been sick. "Everyone who died here, they were our friends. I know that I'm not going to run away while more of my friends die."

"I can respect that." Elizabeth said, nodding. "But we still need a distraction. Have any of you been in a Mako before?" A few hands rose. "All right. I need two of you to come with me. We'll drive around and try to draw their… fire, for lack of a better word, and the rest of you shoot the shit outta these bastards. Starting with that one." Elizabeth pointed at the one who'd popped up first. "Understood?"

"Yes ma'am!" The cry echoed in the small space. The woman who'd been sick and a man approached her.

"What are your names?"

"Winters, ma'am." The woman replied.

"Colson." The man responded.

"All right. Who's the highest ranking soldier left here?"

"That would be me, ma'am. Toombs." One of the men spoke up.

"You're in charge now." Elizabeth turned to Winters and Colson. "I'm driving. Winters, cannon. Colson, machine gun. Let's go."

"We'll cover you." Toombs said.

"Thanks." Elizabeth, Winters and Colson made a dash for the Mako as Toombs and the remainder of the unit opened fire on the first creature. Elizabeth made sure the other two were in position and the hatch was closed before hitting the gas. They sped up one of the hills, and the creatures turned towards them.

"I think it's working!" Colson shouted.

"Don't count your chickens 'til they're hatched." Elizabeth chided, but silently she agreed with them.

"Yes ma'am." He replied.

"Until this is over, it's just Shepard." She told him.

"Shepard, one of them is gone." Winters said.

"Did they kill it?"

"I don't think so. The one they were shooting at is still there. The other one's gone."

"Hopefully he didn't go calling for reinforcements." Elizabeth said. She quickly spun the Mako around so that they were facing the camp.

"I don't think that we could deal with three of those things." Colson agreed.

"Just keep your eyes peeled. Open fire on the one we can see." Elizabeth ordered.

"I can do that." Winters said. Elizabeth couldn't see her, but she was sure that the other woman was smiling as she said that. Elizabeth drove towards the other one, using the thrusters when it spat. "I think we've almost got it!" Winters crowed. With one more blast from the cannon, and a final shriek, the creature fell to the ground.

"Shit! Monster in the camp!" Colson shouted. Elizabeth spun the Mako around and headed to the camp. Looking through the windshield told her that they were too late. The creature had rose up behind the rock face, obliterating it. Elizabeth stopped the Mako and watched. Apparently, it was satisfied that all threats had been neutralized, because it descended back underground.

"What the hell are you waiting for?" Winters shrieked. "Get in there!" Elizabeth waited for another minute before heading in.

"I wanted to make sure it wasn't popping its ugly head out again." Elizabeth explained. They got to the camp and climbed out, looking for survivors. They didn't find any. What bodies they could find were covered in acid.

"What do you think happened to the others?" Colson asked.

"Either that thing ate them, or they were dragged below ground when it went." Elizabeth explained. The ground trembled beneath them again. "Back to the Mako! Move it, people!" Elizabeth shouted, but it was too late. The creature rose behind them, and she fell to the ground. She heard screaming, and looked up. When it rose out of the ground, either Winters or Colson had been too close, and they'd been launched into the air. She heard the smack of flesh hitting the ground and emptied her stomach. She didn't know which one that had been, and she couldn't see anyone else. Sitting perfectly still, Elizabeth prayed that it wouldn't notice her. It felt like eternity waiting for it to leave, but it eventually did. She waited a minute, and then another, before speaking. "Winters? Colson? Are either of you alive?" Elizabeth said quietly. She slowly crawled towards the mound of dirt the creature had left in its wake. She found Winters' body. When the creature popped up, she'd also fallen, but into a pile of acid. That meant Colson had been thrown into the air. Elizabeth took a deep breath. She was the only one left. Again. Elizabeth crawled out of the camp and up the hill, not wanting to draw the creatures back, and another kilometer after that. Once she felt she was far enough away, she radioed the Trafalgar.

"Trafalgar, this is Shepard."

"_This is the SSV Trafalgar, we read you. What's your situation?"_

"I'm the only one left. The others didn't make it." _Again_, Elizabeth added silently.

"_Understood. What's your ETA?"_

"Ten minutes. Shepard out." Elizabeth shut down her comms entirely. As she walked back to the LZ, the past few hours replayed in her head. She couldn't think of anything that she could have done differently, to make sure more people made it out of there. She wondered if that had been what wiped out the colonists. But there still would have been structural damage, if only from the acid. It wasn't up to her to find the answer to that question. Not anymore, anyway. She arrived at the LZ and climbed into the shuttle. Once aboard, she opened her omnitool and began to file her After Action Report. Elizabeth was examined by a doctor on the Trafalgar, who informed her that the acid wasn't poisonous.

"We can remove these scars, if you like." The man told her. "It's a simple procedure. All we'd need to do-"

"No. Leave them where they are." Elizabeth interrupted him.

"You're sure?" He asked.

"Very sure." Elizabeth left shortly after that. The scars were a reminder of those who had fallen under her command. Elizabeth headed for the lady's washroom on the ship to shower. She peeled off her clothes and left them in a pile on the floor, then examined herself in the mirror. The scar from Mindoir was low on the outside of her right thigh, and the scars she'd just gotten were flecked across the left side of her body. They were worst on her left calf, where they were grouped tighter, then steadily got less condensed further up her body. Looking closely at her face, she realized that she'd been extremely lucky. There was a scar barely an inch below her left eye, presumably from acid spray. Shuddering, she quickly turned away and climbed into the shower.


End file.
